Distracted by the facts once again

(Originally posted on MySpace on Sunday Feb 4 2007)

Oh, what to write about this week? My original plan was to write about my "Annie Hall" moment, a story that involves the days of Usenet and features a guest appearance by the beautiful and talented Kristin Hersh of Throwing Muses fame.

But then I got distracted by Brandy when it came out that she had plowed her car into another on the 405 freeway and killed the woman driver of the car she plowed into. Its been determined that she wasn't on drugs or driving drunk, but I suspect she was yacking away on her cell phone and not paying attention, causing her fatal error. So I was going to go off on a rant about cell phones, but it hasn't been determined if that's exactly what happened yet, so I decided to hold off on that rant until I know the facts for sure.

So it was back to "Annie Hall". But then two stories attracted my attention this week and I can't resist commenting on either of them. So "Annie" went back on the "to-do-someday" list and you unlucky people get not just one, but TWO big political rants this week. I know you're feeling the love, so let's get started with story number one.

AQUA TEEN TERRORIST SQUAD

Early this week, the city of Boston was brought to its knees by several Lite-Brite-like boards displaying a character from the Adult Swim cartoon show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force". The character was one of the Mooninites, either Err or Ignignokt. For those who don't watch the show, and you should because its one of the funniest things on TV these days, the Mooninites are two alien protagonists of the Aqua Teens whose sole evil powers are just being annoying and constantly flipping the bird. So now we know what it takes to bring Boston to a screaming stop. Here it is:

Beware the Mooninites!

Never mind that the damned things had been up for over a month already and never mind that they had put them up in six other cities without any panic. Some confused person eventually noticed the things and the sight sent Wolf Blitzer at CNN, the city of Boston and the Department Of Homeland Security into a panicked frenzy. We know what they don't watch on TV.

By the time all the frenzy died down, everything was focused on two hired hands who mounted the displays around town and their employer, Turner Broadcasting Company, the owners of the Cartoon Network, who airs the Adult Swim line of late night cartoons. The two men were arrested and the network, which may face charges of its own, have issued an apology.

Despite the lack of a sense of humor by the elected officials of Boston, this would all be hilarious of its wasn't so damned pathetic. What these guys did was no different from what happens every night in every major city in the USA when hired hands post promotional posters for movies and CDs on every blank surface they can. These just happened to light up. Fortunately, many legal experts have already weighed in on the topic and most of them seem to think that Boston is going to have a very hard time proving any case against the defendents. They have to prove that the company tried to cause fear and unrest by placing their signs around town. But what the company was actually trying to do was to get people to watch a cartoon.

The only thing this is a sign of is that perhaps its time for everyone to take a deep breath and come back to their senses. We Americans have finally lost our minds and gone over the deep end. If there's going to be a mass panic even before a so-called threat is checked out, then the terrorists have won. They have forced us to change our way of life, which is exactly what they have set out to do. I suspect that Turner Broadcasting will end up paying for at least some of the cost of this panic. If they do, then perhaps Boston can use some of it to train their bomb squads how to identify a dumb promotional stunt before they shut down the city and cause a mass panic. Idiots!

MARY'S BABY

No, this isn't a sequel to "Rosemary's Baby", although it's a horror story in its own rite. And it features Wolf Blitzer again, this time in a bigger role than his Monninite hysteria.

Earlier this week, Darth Vader himself, Vice President Dick Cheney, broke away from the fair and balanced reporting on Fox News to allow himself to be interviewed by Wolf Blitzer on CNN. The interview went on for awhile, with Blitzer asking questions and Cheney somewhat answering them with few words and many scowls. Then it reached the end and Blitzer asked a question about Cheney's daughter, Mary and the impending birth of her baby. The question was about Cheney's perceptions of the critics in his own power base who are criticizing the birth because of it being out-of-wedlock and the fact that Mary is a lesbian. But instead of answering the question, Cheney flew into a rage and quacked to Blitzer that he was out of line with the question. And that was the end of that interview. I bet Cheney sticks to Fox from now on.

A few days later, Mary Cheney weighed it, agreeing with her dad that Blitzer was out of line. She finished with this statement: "This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate, on either side of a political issue. It is my child."

Now, if Mary Cheney wants to crap out a kid, more power to her. I think gays and lesbians make fine parents despite the hysterical barking of the religious right and their lack of proof on the subject. But the response to any legitimate question about the subject from both her and her father show both to be gross hypocrites and, even worse, cowards. No surprise there of course.

Cheney and the whole of the Bush administration have used gays and lesbians as their punching bags and as a distraction from the damage they're doing to the country for the last six years. The have made the subject a big issue and now that one of their own is involved, they want to drop it and pretend it doesn't exist. They know that if this subject continues, that their power base will be pissed off and start to desert them. They hope that by not talking about it, those people won't notice.

Mary Cheney would like some privacy and not have her baby be a political argument. Too bad, Mary! Your evil nutcase of a father has made every other baby raised by gay and lesbian parents a political argument, so why shouldn't yours be involved as well? You were silent as your friends and family demonized all gays and lesbians in the country, and whether you agree with them or not, your silence helped it to continue, so you're as guilty as they are. You would rather pander to those you make you rich and powerful than be truthful about what you are and how you feel. It's disgusting and pathetic and very, very sad.

You just can't have it both ways. You can't claim that something is wrong and then claim you're exempt when you fit the profile. It just doesn't work that way. For once I would love to see you and the rest of your family grow a spine and argue for what you obviously believe. But you're cowards and in your world no one else really matters except you. All I can hope is that the public is smart enough to see through this. I suspect they're finally beginning to as the lies and deceits have raised to a level too deep to ignore any longer. Let's hope so.

And I wish you and your child a good life, Mary. Even if you would deny it to everyone else like you.

---------------------------------

Okay, that's it for today. I have to go take a breath of my own and start watching Super Bowl commercials (as opposed to the Super Bowl itself, which I couldn't care two figs for.) I watched "Jesus Camp" this weekend and was going to comment on that as well. But the movie speaks for itself very well, so all I can tell you is that you should watch it. (Although I still think that "Deliver Us from Evil" should win the documentary Oscar.)

Hopefully I'll be back to more pleasant subjects next week.